Friday, May 20, 2011

While the Man is a Away, will the Woman Play?

Recently I was confronted with this scenario from a female friend: “I have been dating a guy for a few weeks now, and he is going to Bachelor Party in Vegas… how should I act in this situation?”

Situations such as these offer a good “test” for any relationship new or old. Now I am not one that condones playing games in any type of relationship, but a trip such as this one is a good barometer to measure trust and to see where you each stand in the relationship. Too much interaction while he is away could come off as needy, possessive, “crazy”, and/or high maintenance and too little communication could come off as not interested, apathetic, and/or rude. What is the fine line to walk?

Remember, the goal of your actions is to determine if he is “The Catch” and here is how it is done. The day he leaves make sure you wish him well and to have a great time on his trip. Even though you may not want him going away, let alone on a Bachelor Party to Vegas, you have to hold back these feelings and play it cool. Remember, you are going to want to have a Girls Night Out too. Most likely, he will ask you what your plans are for the weekend. As much as he would like to hear that you don’t plan on doing much and are going to sit at home watching American Idol re-runs, you should be truthful with your plans to the extent that they will not be upstaging his. What I mean is, if you do coincidentally plan a weekend out with girls, keep the explanation very simple, dinner and drinks.

After wishing him “good times”, allow him to initiate the next contact. I know it may seem thoughtful and considerate to text “Hope you landed safely J” or “Get there OK?”, but this is HIS time away from the relationship and reading a text or listening to a voicemail right when he lands may come off as clingy. With this being HIS time away, you want to show you are able to handle distance away from each other. As much as you may have to constrain yourself from sending the initial communication, you must not! Remember we are trying to determine if he is “The Catch”, not if you are. By him making the initial communication, it will illustrate to you that he is thinking about while off in a far away land, even if it is a “check-in” call, still he is thinking about you. Additionally, the later in the evening the call happens, the better because he most likely has been consuming some beverages, he is lonely, and he is thinking of YOU.

If you are in the unfortunate position of not receiving a phone call all weekend, and you cannot contain yourself anymore, send off a simple message to him on final day of the trip asking how he is doing. Keeping it simple and sweet is the best way to go in an attempt to salvage the relationship. In the end, don’t jump to any conclusion and remember…Distance does make the heart grow fonder.

1 comment: