Recently, I was approached by a friend to help build back up what she so terribly lost on the first night—Respect. Apparently, she met a guy, planned a night to hang out, an extra shot here, and extra glass of wine there, and things turned lustful. Not completely realizing all of her actions until late the next day, she realized she cemented herself in his mind as a “fling”. A girl not to be taken seriously and was glad to have her fun, but long-term prospects—not a chance.
The questions presented to me included, but are not limited to: How does she redeem herself? Is there any chance of it? How does she go about it?
First things first, ALL IS NOT LOST! Just because you slept with a guy on the first night does not mean you lost out on all chance of a real, lasting relationship; your chances are still better than winning the Lottery. Believe this, a level of respect begins to rise slowly the longer you “hold out”. Now, since “holding out” is not in your deck of cards to artfully utilize to see if the guy is a legit, potential partner, your focus must center around earning back your respect. Chances are slim, but I am saying there is a chance (see Jim Carey- Dumb and Dumber). How is this accomplished? Here is a simple three step approach.
Since you are the one trying to build back your respect, YOU need to make the initial efforts to make plans to see each other. No need to turn into a stalker (http://pizzaandhighheels.blogspot.com/2011/04/dont-be-stalker.html) but, when deciding on what to do and where to go, do not not venture to the same or similar place(s) which created the predicament you are trying to get out of. For most of us, this will mean avoiding places that center around alcohol. Remember, you actually think there is a chance this guy is “The Catch”, so since you already have experienced his physical gifts and/or flaws, it’s time to get to what spins the wheel upstairs.
NO SEX for 3 weeks. That’s right, no sex!! Why three weeks? Since you have only hung out with this guy a few times (1 or 2 nights… trying to be sympathetic here) you need to make him work for what he thinks he can have so easily. That way, you will be able to get a clear understanding of his immediate intentions. If he is sticking around, unlike Winnie the Pooh, he may want more than some honey J.
If he is still in the picture around Day 10, buy him a gift. Men are often compared to dogs, and so, like dogs they need to be rewarded for their good behavior. At this point, he will have many questions going on in his head regarding what direction to take things (the proverbial fork in the road). He could cut his losses and seek new excitement or slowly be induced by your seductive ways. A small, tangible gift (should be an accessory to something he enjoys using) will not only reinvigorate his interest in you, it will demonstrate there is more to you then a sweet piece of ass!
Good luck reeling him back in. Please post questions and comments.