Trust: What Exactly Is It?

Trust: What Exactly Is It?

Trust- -the backbone, the centerpiece, the rock of a lasting relationship…or so they say. Dictionary.com defines it as “reliance, on the integrity, strength, ability of a person”. Objectively, this is a characteristic an ideal partner will possess, but subjectively trust can take many shapes and forms.

Every day we each encounter situations that we choose to keep to ourselves or to share with others. From someone groping you in a nightclub, to a flirtatious conversation with a co-worker, to a lunch date with an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend, most of the time these occurrences are trivial and quickly become a thing of the past. Is trust defined as to what you believe you should and should not tell your partner because of the trust you two have amongst each other in deciding what should and should not be kept from one another or is the ability to unconditionally share every little nuance of your day with one another?

For instance, if we know an incident will upset our partner, is it better to keep it to oneself or to disclose the event? On one hand, withholding the news would keep the waters calm in the relationship, at least for the time being. Many may go back and forth on the decision on whether to open the flood gates on a potentially volatile outcome.

On the other hand, disclosure will demonstrate you believe the relationship can withstand the strong currents at the present time and in the future. Initially, such candor may not yield the reaction you would like from your partner, but you feel that you “did the right thing” by disclosing the incident to prevent a future tidal wave.

Inevitably, a totality of the circumstances analysis is implicated to determine whether such news is worthy of upsetting the calm waters. Regardless, however which way you choose, disclosure or non-disclosure, such trust in the decision to determine what should and should not be kept from your partner, will ultimately rely upon the level of trust you subjectively believe you have amongst each other in order to prevent the tsunami from occurring.

What is your definition of trust?